There's nothing that coffee can't solve. For me, that is.
I've been in a love-hate relationship with this wonderful caffeinated drink for quite a long time now. I plead guilty to being a coffee-addict! Believe me, on a normal day, I average about 4 cups. And there lies the complication. I get sick when I drink a lot of coffee. I have hyperacidity. Ohh the irony.
But yeah, everything turns better with a cup of hot, steaming cafe latte. Or a tall glass of iced caramel macchiato. Ahhh. I can actually imagine the bliss.
- - -
Lately, everything's getting blurry with my life. Yes, I am happy most of the times. Mostly when I am with my friends, enjoying the day - or night - with some good food and even greater conversations. But on my own, when I'm left alone, my mood drops down. Like really. I feel depressed all of a sudden, it's scary.
When I'm alone, I feel alone. Really. Alone. Like no one is there for me. And it's scaring me. I feel like everyone's life is carrying on just great without me. And I feel lost. I feel unwanted.
See that's another problem. I feel that way but I tend to isolate myself.
Or maybe, it's just that everyone's living their own lives. Like my friends are starting to reach their goals - wedding bells, advance studies, putting up their own businesses. My only sibling has a family to take care of and focus on already. My cousin, which I was hoping would replace my sister's place now that she has her own family, is too busy with his teenage life and mingling with his friends.
And I am left here alone. Confused. Not knowing where I am heading.
Actually, the more I write about this, the more I feel like this is actually part of my quarter-life crisis phase. LOL. Yes, I've been stuck on that idea for a while now.
Oh. I recently had a misunderstanding with someone. I felt kind of disappointed, really. I actually feel betrayed. Which was stupid because first, I wasn't promised anything. And second, I felt that way because it was my choice to expect something from that person. And no this isn't a love story. LOL.
Flight of ideas.
I just have a lot of thoughts in my head and they're all jumbled up like crazy. I don't know where to begin nor where to end this post.
Oh, and I'm thinking of changing my blog design once again. Just because.
Can I have another cup of coffee, please?