My Dad's Favorite Song

It's no secret that our family loves karaoke nights. Even my mom, whom I never heard sing in my entire twenty five years of living, enjoys listening to me, my sister, and my dad sing our hearts out. Every time we'd get together and enjoy sing-along nights, it was so much fun.

My dad loved singing. Every time he starts holding a microphone, he can sing for hours. And he was actually good at it. Actually, I think my sister got her talent in singing from our dad.

My most memorable song of him was Beautiful in My Eyes. My dad tried to perfect that song before. He'd keep on singing the same song over and over again until I'm getting pretty tired of hearing it. Now each time I hear that song playing, I will instantly, instantly think of my dad.


I was really close to my dad more than my mom before when I was still young. He'd always been my savior during times when mom was scolding me. I was daddy's little girl back then. There was actually a time when I thought my dad favors me more than my younger sister. But that was just me.

"When I and my mother will disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Yeah, yeah, then finally make me do just what my mama says"

But during college, we grew apart. A lot of things happened and I had these crazy issues about our family, about him. I got so angry at him. It was just... unbelievable. That hatred I allowed to consume me. It was unnecessary. It was immature. And just before he died, I was avoiding him. I wasn't talking to him. And I regret that. A lot.

If dad was still alive, he'd probably be so caught up in playing with my sister's one year old daughter, his granddaughter. He loves children and the children love him. He's a really warm, kind-hearted old man. Everyone loves him.

It's been three years now, and this Sunday it's going to be Father's Day. Sadly, we won't have our dad to celebrate that special day with.

I feel sad thinking of all the major events in my life that he'll be missing. I wanted him to approve of the guy I would love and would eventually marry. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle on the biggest day of my life. I wanted him to see my future kids and watch them grow up. I wanted to travel the world with him and mom. I want to finally buy him his own car. I want him and mom to enjoy the simple life, not worrying about what bills to pay.


I miss my dad. A lot. Especially now, with everything that is happening in my life. With all the thoughts that's running through my mind. I wish he was still here. I wish I can still talk to him and tell him how confused and scared I am. I wish he would be here to tell me that's everything's going to be okay.

I'm just emotional right now for no reason.

[LYRICS] He Is We - Blame It On The Rain

You, got me caught in all this mess.
I guess, we can blame it on the rain.
My pain is knowing I can’t have you,
I can’t have you.

Tell me does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?

I catch my breath,
The one you took the moment you entered the room.
My heart, it breaks at the thought of her holding you.

Does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?
(Is it more than a crush?)

Maybe I’m alone in this,
But I find peace in solitude knowing,
If I had but just one kiss this whole room,
Would be glowing.
We’d be glowing,
We’d be glowing.

Does she, tell me, does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?
(More than a crush)

Does she, tell me, does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?
(More than a crush)

Does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?

Tell me does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?



[LYRICS] Gary Allen - Today

Today he told her that he loved her
Put a ring around her finger
And promised her forever, together

Today, she smiled for all the pictures
And he was right there with her
Making all the memories without me

And it hurts to say this out loud
Looks like she's really gone now

Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her today
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?
I know I should be happy for her

But I've lost everything
I've lost everything I've ever wanted today

Today I thought about the moment
I could have said I loved her
And promised her forever, together

Today, today it really hit me
That she don't really miss me
She's found a new beginning

And I'm wishing
I had one more chance
God knows it's too late for that

Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her today
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?
I know I should be happy for her

But I've lost everything
I've lost everything I've ever wanted today

Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her
But I've lost everything
I've lost everything I've ever wanted

Today he told he that he loved her
Put a ring around her finger


[LYRICS] Taylor Swift - Speak Now

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say

[Chorus:]
Don’t say "Yes", run away now
I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door
Don’t wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now"

Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me,
You wish it was me,
Don’t you?

[Chorus:]
Don’t say "Yes", run away now,
I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door.
Don’t wait or say a single vow,
You need to hear me out,
And they said, "Speak now".
Don’t say "Yes", run away now,
I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door.
Don’t wait or say a single vow,
Your time is running out,
And they said, "Speak now".

Oh, la, la
Oh, oh
Say a single vow

I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"
There’s the silence, there’s my last chance.
I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me.
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But I’m only looking at you.

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

[Chorus:]
So, don’t say "Yes", run away now,
I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door.
Don’t wait or say a single vow,
You need to hear me out,
And they said, "Speak now".
And you’ll say "Let’s run away now,
I’ll meet you when I’m out of my tux at the back door.
Baby, I didn’t say my vows,
So glad you were around
When they said, "Speak now"



The One That Got Away

What a cheesy title to a blog post. LOL. Whatever.

I'm just feeling gloomy because the guy I really like - since I was 8 or 10 years old, I guess - is about to tie the knot with another girl in less than 10 days.

I hope they live together happily. I hope she makes him really happy and that she'll take care of him.


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